Under The Meat Lamp
Early one morning, a crew was made up of whomever qualified to answer the phone.
The make-up, a solid bunch who hadn't worked together before. People don't realize, that when a crew rolls out to repair an outage--- They too, are operating in pitch dark conditions & they have to bring the light with them to restore it.
After loading himself with coffee- in effort to possibly sober up, wake up, or both-- One of the senior members of this patchwork crew needed to relieve himself. Finding a discreet spot of darkness, he found a place behind a truck to pee.
He was mid-business when a newly hired Groundman from the street wearing a headlamp came around the corner at full speed. He blinded the large man by shining the light directly in his face. "Whoa, Kid- I'm taking a piss!"
"Oh, hey, Man, sorry...."
As if the exchange wasn't awkward enough, the lamp panned down illuminating the crotch of the man who was peeing.
"What the fuck, Dude???!!!!!!"
Moral of the story: If you ever check to see how you rate, make sure you turn off your meat lamp first...